of quotes, studies and jokes.

say-tired.

because i know you are. hah.

and i’m worried for blogger, so i’ll put these up here in case i need to password protect them.

do note: my writing isn’t all that good, so bear with me. i’ll try to improve.

link.

dying of lame-ness

got a few jokes from a friend:

if my fist is a lighter, what is my fist when it’s raised?

a highlighter!

what was the old name of israel?

was-rael!

what is the neighbour of israel?

is-fake!

more random quotes and typos

Justin™ says: (11:14:33 PM)
to fin dout
Justin™: (11:14:36 PM)
*to tell me
- Chris -> says (10:38 PM):
nu udn use
- Chris -> says (10:38 PM):
u dun listen*

regarding today’s year 4 express pohtoshoot photoshoot
=-Wilford-= – Exams! says: (9:35:35 PM)
they go and raise tripod so high
=-Wilford-= – Exams! says: (9:35:40 PM)
i cannot look through viewfinder
=-Wilford-= – Exams! says: (9:35:41 PM)
grr
=-Wilford-= – Exams! says: (9:35:46 PM)
so i took chair and stand
=-Wilford-= – Exams! says: (9:35:52 PM)
then the senior admin started laffing
=-Wilford-= – Exams! says: (9:35:53 PM)
-.-

=-Wilford-= – Exams! says: (10:04:33 PM)
cos he liddat
=-Wilford-= – Exams! says: (10:04:34 PM)
i said
=-Wilford-= – Exams! says: (10:04:36 PM)
he said
=-Wilford-= – Exams! says: (10:04:37 PM)
sorry
=-Wilford-= – Exams! says: (10:04:38 PM)
he said
=-Wilford-= – Exams! says: (10:04:40 PM)
oh gr
=-Wilford-= – Exams! says: (10:04:41 PM)
wait

Justin™ (8)>>acphil.blogspot.com<< (8) says: (11:20:32 PM)
erm. autumn ah?
Justin™ (8)>>acphil.blogspot.com<< (8) says: (11:20:33 PM)
super fun
Justin™ (8)>>acphil.blogspot.com<< (8) says: (11:20:41 PM)
u rake the leaves into a pile and jump into them

Justin™ (8)>>acphil.blogspot.com<< (8) says: (10:32:10 PM)
o.O
=-Wilford-= – Exams! says: (10:32:17 PM)
o.O
…
Justin™ (8)>>acphil.blogspot.com<< (8) says: (10:32:35 PM)
o.O
Justin™ (8)>>acphil.blogspot.com<< (8) says: (10:32:38 PM)
O.o
Justin™ (8)>>acphil.blogspot.com<< (8) says: (10:32:40 PM)
O.O
=-Wilford-= – Exams! says: (10:33:01 PM)
o.O
=-Wilford-= – Exams! says: (10:33:02 PM)
O.o
…
=-Wilford-= – Exams! says: (10:33:03 PM)
O.O

Factory Farming of Broiler Chickens

roiler ChickensA Deborah Original(ly intended to be the ss research paper but changed her mind as she died early due to not feeling nerdy enough). Please excuse all typos, grammatical, spelling, vocabulary errors and misuse of punctuation and words. Thank you.

Broiler Chickens are bred for the sole purpose of killing and our consumption of them. Therefore, what’s the problem with consuming broiler chickens? It’s not so much our consuming of the chickens, but more of how they are treated. OMG I DON”T KNOW WHAT I’M DEBATING ABOUT! EAT MAI EAT LA. WAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA. TREAT THEM BADLY OR WELL THEY WILL ALSO END UP IN OUR STOMACHS.

HA

HAHAHAH

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Cheep.

Ok I’m joking. Now for the serious part. This is no matter to joke about! It’s a debate of LIFE AND DEATH, regardless of whether it’s chickens or not. People are so mean. I mean, I used to keep happy chickens and talk to them ALLL THE TIMEEEE. Did you know chickens have their own language?

YEAH! I DIDN”T KNOW EITHER!

Well, it took much time and effort to learn the language – 2891238 days to be exact and 219208312 newtons, but it was all worth it! You know, I even managed to negotiate with my chickens about how many eggs I could eat. For those eggs that I could eat, the chickens specially made them really tasty, and they were!

Don’t you think this is a much better way for our farms to function? Instead of snapping off their beaks, defeathering them and crippling them while they’re still alive, why not talk to them. Well, I guess it’d take lots of time and the profit would go down, price of eggs would rise, etcetera. So a more feasible solution, I guess, would be the usual.

TECHNOLOGY.

No! Not the same one we’re using now! Give the chickens MAC COMPUTERS. It’s really educationally enriching you know! Furthermore, they can interact with chickens all over the world and play games and be happy.

As we all know, HAPPY PEOPLE MAKE TASTY PEOPLE.

So the same should go for chickens, right?
As we all know, the chickens will have some troubles using these computers. Being the superior, more mature species, we have to adapt to these needs of the chickens. I have already negotiated with the Chicken-Apple Company. For 20000 Eggs ever year, they will produce the new product – the MAC CHICKEN.

NO!!!!! IT”S NOT THE MCCHICKEN BURGER!!!!

Fast Food Industries are so evil you know! When you eat those Mc Chicken Burgers, haven’t you ever thought of how these poor creatures are killed??

Oh fine, so it’s a matter of being self-centered now.

Well, as you know, these chickens are kept in small, windowless sheds of poor condition (and no air-condition) causing overcrowding. This overcrowding of the chicken coops lead to rapid spread of diseases such as H5N1. These diseases may mutate and then SPREAD TO US!

Gasp.

Furthermore, to kill your appetite, watch ‘Fast Food Nation’ or ‘Supersize Me’ and see what the vomit looks like after you eat too much. I can’t really say much about the chemicals in the burgers cause the 2:1 (in kg) ratio of chemicals to burger seem to work very well.

The logic of all that I have rambled on and on for the past… 2.591 minutes is sort of like the Food Web which we learn in the primary 3 syllabus of science.

Human ‡ Mutant Worm ‡ Chicken ‡ Human

Human eat less chicken

Human kill less chicken

Chicken eat more worm

Higher probability of chicken eating mutant worm

Mutant worm don’t give humans diseases or eat human.

If this is STILL not convincing enough, read on.

Now, I shall brief you all on all the benefits of being PRO-CHICKEN.

Of course, the first benefit would be the rooster not harming our ears and biological clocks by yowling at 7am in the morning – no offence to the roosters, but GIRLS PWN. Tooo badd.

Instead, all roosters shall learn the tune of 1812 Tchaikovsky Overture, and at EIGHT in the morning, they will blast it. What a delightful way to wake up eh!

However, depending on the preference of the VERY NICE AND FRIENDLY FARMERS (or else, they shall be sued and shall fear the wrath of our fowl-mouthed army of fowls), another option would be the nation’s national anthem.

Chickens will be more PATRIOTIC, therefore the government will ALSO be happy and they will ABOLISH FACTORY FARMING. At this point, I would like to remind you again that FACTORY FARMING IS BAD.

BAD BAD BAD

LIKE THE BIG BAD WOLF.

Hmm, I have just discovered that the swirly thing on the pack of ‘dominant strings’ that I have is a violin scroll. What insight.

Speaking of insight, haven’t you always wondered whether the chicken or the egg came first?

WELL YOU KNOW WHAT?

Should you become pro chicken, you will FIND OUT THE TRUTH!

(another way to find out is to bribe me with 10kg chicken-free chocolate)

The third benefit of being pro-chicken is that our good chicken friends will thus provide us with yummy, delicious eggs with glowing orange yolk.

Lastly, as of the day you declare yourself pro chicken, within the first few minutes, you will receive a BIG FEATHER COVERED RUBBER SUIT, such that you will be a human-chicken hybrid.

ISN”T THAT SO COOL?!

Well, of course it would affect your sweating and cooling mechanisms (as quoted by a certain monkey school) but it will make you more COCKY, giving you an egoboost.

It will be delivered by special air-chicken force
So, DECLARE YOURSELF PRO-CHICKEN THIS DAY! CLUCK: “cheep cheep CHEEEEEEEEEEEP (insert name here)! CHEEP CHICKEN CHEEP!” Then prance around the nearest shopping mall in your new chicken suit.

Should you fail to do that, your chicken suit will self destruct in less than 2 hours, releasing harmful radioactive waves and causing you to have no self esteem because you are no longer cocky.

Don’t forget! BE PRO-CHICKEN TODAY! FLY WITH THE FEATHERS!

Still want to be your usual, boring, un-exciting, all human self?

Oh. So I haven’t clarified your doubts.

Lets see, some people say that humans are more superior than chickens so we have the right to torture them.

Then they do their evil laughter which they have been practicing for the last 10 years or so….

BWAHAMWAHHAAHAHAA-cough- HAHAHAHAHHAA

See, I pwn them, which is one of the reasons why this essay should get an A+++++++++

Ok, back to my point. Well, THAT point has already been reflected in the human society in the uh. Whenever. One of the centuries.

Century eggs are soaked on horse pee and are black. If chickens can produce eggs that still taste good after being soaked in horse urine, don’t you think they’re smart for combining such chemicals? So you see, chickens are smart in terms of physical structure.

Are we? We have stupid shins that keep finding hard furniture to hit. We have annoying thin fingers that can get stuck in fans and get cut. We also have teeth to bite our tongues every few meals. Conclusion?

Chickens also have an amazingly complex brain. You see, it enjoys confusing people, like all mastermind criminals. You know black chicken soup? HAH! Did you know that the black chicken soup chickens are actually WHITE?

HAH HAH HAH!

I BET YOU DIDN”T KNOW.

Uh, ok I lost my train of thought.

So to conclude, I shall type a series of nonsensical statements that make sense.

ABOLISH ALL FACTORY FARMS! RAISE THE PRICE OF EGGS! Be PRO CHICKEN cause we cannot achieve this without

YOU.

GIVE DEBORAH AN A+ GRADE FOR THIS PAPER.

Lastly, to our brilliant, wonderful, magnificent, o holy and great social studies teacher of complexity and such profundity that I fail to comprehend what you are saying (in a very serious and exceedingly stable voice that goes on and on and on) half the time, or maybe more:

Please warn the class if you are going to become pro-chicken because we need to raise enough funds for the wake of some people who will most likely die of laughter. Furthermore, the number of deaths would be lowered as less people would die of shock. We would also request that you issue a formal letter allowing us to bring video cameras and other media devices to class to capture this moment in history when the teachers became chicken activists as well, and for our own personal gain.

random ensem thing

“ok girls, can you all practice pizzicating?” – music teacher

boo!

basically, this blog has 3 aims:

1. explore wordpress (:
2. store my quotes, notes and jokes. not my life.
3. easier to go back and find interesting quotes. (:

and my main blog is still at blogspot.

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